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Aimee Guest

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  1. @Bethany Sanders Thanks so much for reading and for musing over a title! I will hold on to these suggestions. I thought about "Losing my Grip" but since the piece starts with the grip, I worried that it gave away where the story would go? I mention that my dad's eyes are like a stormy sea and in general the sea reminds me of him because he had a boat and went deep-sea fishing..and I actually connect the fight of the last years of his life with "The old man and the sea" so I think if I ever compiled more stories about him together, it would involve "the sea" in a title. Do we have a
  2. @Holly SchurterThank you for reading and offering the observance of courage. My dad passed away 7 years go but my husband and I had a long lonely journey of watching him physically and mentally waste away for five years which added up to a lot of time not knowing how much he could understand or how to interact with him. But he would "show up" in these moments. I think the showing up moments were even harder than the other moments, which I touched on above.. @Helen Dent Thanks for reading and sharing encouraging words and pointing out those verbs! @JoyJoy thank you for taking the time
  3. @Ray Gregory I'm very intrigued by this story! Are you illuminating the Bible story where Jesus puts mud on the man's eyes and he can see? Or is this not a Bible story? I enjoyed that this story was told mostly through dialogue. After I read it through twice I understood that Samuel was focused on the ants and the clouds because he was able to see now? I like the ending contrast of Deborah's inability to see compared to samuel's new sight. Looking forward to hearing more about this.
  4. @Helen DentI thoroughly enjoyed this. I enjoyed the dialogue and the storytelling. Even though I didn't understand the specifics of the hole or of the water project, it didn't bother me, I felt like I understood what I needed to for this 500 word piece and I would get more of those details if you expanded it. I would enjoy a few more details that let me know how old they are. But once again, I'm sure that would be made clear in an expanded piece. Love your opening line and the following lines with concrete details.
  5. @JoyI quikly relate to this piece. There so many moments in my life, in the middle of suffering, where I have not yet reached the "it was all for the best" moment and I think its important to reveal those moments and not feel the need to slap a "but I knew it would all be okay" on the end. It gives your writing authenticity, truth. As with Bill, I like that you framed it with the church service when you could have chosen so many other points of entry. The words being sung create tension between what you were feeling inside. The earthquake is a powerful metaphor for what has happened
  6. Thanks @Brian ORear and @Ray Gregory for reading and responding with such encouragement. I find myself in a season of re-visiting distinct moments in my life that have left a lasting imprint and this particular moment with my dad is one of them. I did not think of the climber metaphor as the moment happened in real time (about 8 years ago) but as I started writing about it for this prompt, the image seemed to really capture the emotional and physical truths of this moment in our relationship. In addition to being helpful for me to explore these "imprints", I remember how helpful it w
  7. @Brian ORearI'll jump in here and agree with what everyone else has said. I felt the tension throughout this piece between his thoughts, the darkness, and details like how restrictive his clothing was. I enjoyed concrete details like the one below that helped me experience this moment with the narrator: I think it might just be me but the one thing that took me out of the moment and tone of the piece was the image "as dark as the inside of the cow". It bookends your piece and for me that image is a bit comical verses the tense and serious tone throughout the rest of your writing.
  8. This definitely took me back to the fights my brother and I had when we were kids! I thought it had a nice pacing and I loved the surprise of her brother's secret conversations with himself. I would love to have a detail or two that lets us know her age range so we can picture if this is a 9 year old or a fifteen year old trying to pull this off. I thought the switch from her realizing she had some good material for revenge to her stabbing pain of guilt happened a little fast, just another line or two between that transition would help me believe it more. I would not want
  9. @Bill DelvauxThanks for sharing this glimpse of prayer. I've worked on meditation and prayer over the last 2 years after a wave of anxiety and health issues entered my life. This reminds me of the process I'm often going through when I'm sitting in a doctor's office and the anxiety threatens. I love that you show the realistic journey of needing to continually re-orient back toward that place of peace and calm. I entered into this scene most easily when you showed the journey through physical manifestations like "He could feel his pulse drop, his breathing slow." Or "He felt slightly qu
  10. @Hope HencheyThanks for sharing this piece. I can tell you enjoyed exploring the perspective of a newborn. I figured out it was a baby when he/she was put on the scale. I enjoyed "...inhale. What an odd feeling." Also, "A new liberty, but I feel less safe than ever." The whole exploration of safe and non-safe feels very relevant to a baby leaving the womb. I've often thought about that jolting change from the warm, enclosed womb to the exposed air and vast space. I didn't know who the voices were-so did not pick up on the adoption detail. I'm guessing the wetness wa
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